A Place in the Sun

/ Erik Conover

June 30th, 2014: Meatpacking District, Manhattan, 

Erik Conover

“You take good care of yourself and when…if…you get the privilege of living as long as I have you will be glad you did” 

Today I met a man named Feliciano.

I can’t complain about my day job. I lifeguard at a luxury hotel to pay the rent, my undergrad education, and  for my acting classes. The pool I lifeguard at is on the fourteenth floor rooftop and has one of the most breathtaking views of the great expanse that is New York City.

As I sit passing the time nose deep in a good book, an old man casually walks out to the pool deck, book in hand. He smiles at me and gently asks,

“Do you have a place I could sit and read in the shade?”

There are no umbrellas at the pool, even with all the available knowledge and pure data about skin cancer and the depleting ozone layer people still love to fry up on that rooftop. The only shade comes from a small overhang which I sit under.

I say to the old man, ” No, but I don’t mind standing, take my seat.”

“He replies, “Thank you. You’re very smart. Like me.”

“Whys that?”

He says, “You’re the only person at this pool who is not purposely exposing themselves to the sun trying to get a tan. An outlier. You take care of yourself, and when…if…you get the privilege of living as long as I have you will be glad you did.”

I am pale as they come…Russian and Dutch by birth…Of course I am in the shade I don’t really have a choice. I take this man in. He has a bright smile full of pearly whites,  a head of white hair, not too much balding. Thin in a healthy way. He’s excited to be alive. He can’t be over 65 I think to myself. So I ask,

“How old are you?”

“Guess, and be honest, don’t try and flatter me”.

I say 68. He looks at me, pauses, and takes me in for a moment. That wise grin of experience begins take over as he cooly says, “85.”

85 looking some 20 years younger. This is a man I want to talk to. It was scorching hot today. One of those days the sun feels like it has inched closer to the Earth . . . 86 degrees and humid making my auburn curly hair look like a bird’s nest atop my head. He asks if I want a drink and orders two tonic waters and lime.

He introduced himself as Feliciano from Argentina and we toasted to being the only two guys sitting in the shade reading by the pool. For the next 20 minutes we had great conversation. We talk about how he moved to New York City in 1957 as a broke 28-year-old, made his way through hard work. We talked about Jersey boys, Clint Eastwood, theater, and literature. He notes work ethic and great conversation as two things that are rare in today’s world.

“The majority of those Wall street guys, those people are little cogs in a machine, living in cubicles for $100,000 a year. The most courageous thing you can do in life is to do what truly makes you happy. It’s good to see a young man reading.”

Feliciano is a Photographer. Here is a link to his work http://felicianophotography.com/

-EC

© All rights reserved 2014

72 thoughts on “A Place in the Sun”

    • Uplifting read Erik! I like to label what you are doing as ‘Living in the Moment’.. Good for you! A man way smarter than I was at your ‘baby’ age of twenty something? :) Blessings on your journey!

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      • Thank you Linda! I like that, living in the moment. It’s amazing what can happen once you step outside your comfort zone. I’ve been on my own for a while, it’s survival, forces you to learn quickly from life experience.

        24 years old! Thank you again for the kind words and taking the time to read my story.

        Erik

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      • title of a future blog of mine.. :) just what I said.. young! Imagine how brilliant you will be when you are my age 56! Enjoy the journey! We originate from the same part of the country.. native Pittsburgh, PA :)

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  3. I love this! Those random connections we make can be amazing. And some people think I’m weird for talking to strangers… (Not always ‘the done thing’ in the south of England!)

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  8. Sounds like you must have some Celtic blood amongst the Dutch and Russian! Apparently us redheads are a dying breed. So you definitely want to live longer! I travel a lot on buses, and am always open to conversation of fellow travellers, though it’s the older people who usually want to talk, and they share so much. Great post!

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    • Ah yes a hint of Irish in there! It’s the greatest when the conversation just flows because you are genuinely intrigued and want to find out more. Older people have more to share and are less self conscious then younger

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  10. What very lovely writing and truly enjoyable reading on such a dear subject. I’m still smiling. Thank you. It’s like we got to be with you in the fullness of the experience. What a gift.

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    • I may be crazy, the best of us are, but I think that when people like that come into your life, even for just that small amount of time, like you said I will most likely never see F again, I think its the worlds way of saying hey youre on the right path

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  14. My mother, Carmella is 79, still plays tennis and has the smile of a 40-year-old. My dad, Vito is 81 and will be 82 next week. He appears younger too and is just as intimidating a man as when he was much younger. He recently had hip surgery and was back to walking within the month. I was amazed observing the many nurses flirting and telling him how good-looing he still is… I hope I have a little bit of what they have now that I’ve entered the right side of 50. I don’t believe it’s genetics – I believe it’s the spirit…
    Thank you for sharing your story about Feliciano – and I look forward to checking out his work…
    AnnMarie – originally from North Jersey :-)
    You seem like a very nice young man and I wish you all the best. Don’t give out on your dream – stick to it.
    A little trivia since your an aspiring actor – my dad’s cousin used to babysit for Jonathan Demme, and as a result he gave minor roles in a few movies – her name is Lauren Roselli. She played Denzel Washington’s secretary in Philadelphia, she also had a bit part in SIlence of the Lambs…

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  15. Sounds cool, a special moment where two people meet and connect. And different age groups connecting is interesting because there is a whole different world to offer up and share. Often times they are too different and there is a missed understanding, or one is not interested in the other. But this time it worked out.

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  18. Eric, thanks for your visit. I likewise like your chart with the elderly man Feliciano. The name remind me of that great singer J’ose Feliciano. I’ll check out his blog.

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  19. I love talking to elders! I have had several hip surgeries, so I’ve met quite a few in my aqua therapy class, lol. Most of them have a lot of wisdom to impart. I’m super pale like a ghost too XD You can always see me in pics, and my skin is much whiter than everyone else’s. But I don’t want to get skin cancer and premature aging, so I always use sunscreen when I’m outside for a long time. My dad always used to tell me that if you enjoy what you do you’ll never have to work a day in your life. I’m lucky to be in a profession that I enjoy, but I went to college for 9 years to be able to do that. Once my student loans are paid off I’ll probably work part time so I can do more writing.

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    • My mother is a physical therapist and does aqua therapy! I’m glad to see I am in good fair skin company, haha. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and sharing some of your own

      Erik

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  20. Absolutely loved this post. I’m a big fan of non-fiction, particularly biographies/memoirs. I find it much more engaging to hear about real people’s lives. When I worked in geriatrics, the highlight of the job was finding a spare moment to chat to some of my patients and finding out that one of them was a former POW, another was a professional footballer, and a lovely little old lady had been a wimbledon tennis doubles winner.

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    • Thank you for reading my story! I am in the same boat, I find learning about peoples lives truly exciting. Fiction is a mirror of our lives. I would rather hear the real thing.

      My mother is a Physical Therapist. She hears so many similar stories every day. With age comes that wisdom to see life from a perspective many won’t ever have the privilege to see.

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    • John
      I think in today’s culture everything is me me me and instant gratification or nothing at all. To hear stories and advice from this man who looked like he could live to be 100 was inspiring. The view from the pool I work is pretty fantastic as well. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

      Erik

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  22. When I read your reply-comment on “Am I Too Young To Be So Bitter?” from “Am I Thirty Yet?” blog, I was intrigued. The string of words you wove together struck a cord within me. In the comment, you exuded an effortless positivity, a hopeful outlook, to an unknown future. From the comment, I was curious to learn more about you. Without question, I clicked the link to your blog. As I navigated your site, I smiled to myself. From what I gather, you have a knack for writing, and telling stories – after all, you list yourself as a “storyteller.” Your writing style, and interests, drew me in, in “The Best Is Yet To Come” post. From that, I rationalized you would be the kind of person I’d like to meet in NYC. Speaking with Feliciano is no exception. Who knew he was a photographer? It’s that kind of genuine human interaction I like to witness. In fact, it is what I strive to do in my own life. I enjoy making people happy, and learning about who THEY are. We learn through human interaction, so why not explore it?

    http://rachelscottagehouse.wordpress.com

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    • Rachel – Wow! Thank you for taking the time to read my stories. I’ve kept journals most of my life, it’s not until recently ( 9 days ago ) that I started sharing my stories and ideas publicly. I love people, I love a rich detailed story, I think everyone has that something they are so passionate about they light up the room.

      The community on WordPress is amazing. The comments, feedback, criticism, all of it. I have a post coming out tomorrow night, about an article in the NY Post I am featured in, my criticism of it, stereotypes, and social pretenses. I think you’ll enjoy it.

      Ps I checked out your blog and my stomach started to growl! :-)

      Erik

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  25. Thank you for liking my post because it has brought me to your story. The words you write are written beautifully and share an insight into a world much different from mine, so for that I am now following your blog and hope to get to read more words of such a vibrant & interesting life!

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    • Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

      What you just said right there , ” to share an insight into a world much different from mine” is the exact reason why I got into writing and acting. I love looking into different lives, ways of living, and stories. To look into someone’s experiences is true knowledge.

      I don’t know about vibrant and interesting but I do my best! Thank you for following

      Erik

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  27. Pingback: My Kind of Town | Erik Conover

  28. What a lovely story Erik.

    You really have the gift to tell a story well. It was like I was there sitting next to you both and listening to your conversation. Good luck with everything you desire to do. I am sure you will succeed.

    All the best, Alex

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    • Alex!

      I Hope you’re doing well this week. New York City is an amazing place. There is inspiration everywhere, and if you take the time to listen, there are some pretty amazing stories as well :) Thank you again for the kind words.

      Erik

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      • I am doing very well thank you. Keeping busy with my stories to my images.

        I visited New York City once back in 1996. A long time ago… and I have been planning a second visit for many years. I still remember the city very well; the sounds, the sights and the people. I truly hope I will return soon. I feel there is so much left to discover.

        You are very welcome. It really is a pleasure reading your stories :)

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  29. I went on his website and there is a picture of him under the contact information. He looks exactly the way you described him. Seems like a beautiful person. If you ever see him again, tell him he has a fan in California.
    You can tell yourself that as well.
    -L

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    • He invited my girlfriend and I out to dinner last night! A few rounds of Pinot Grigio, and great Italian food in the Meatpacking District. What a guy. To describe him in one word would be life. So much life in him, crazy the people you meet unexpectedly. He read the stories I posted about him online and laughed. I will let him know, and thank you, Leah, I’m glad you enjoy my writing.

      Erik

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  30. Pingback: A Place in the Sun | Vine Hub

  31. Pingback: How to Be Young, Poor, and in Love | Erik Conover

    • I’m right with you on the one. For whatever reason, people are always surprised, sometimes shocked when they find out or see me reading. Thank you for taking the time to read my stories Lucy

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  33. What a fabulous encounter. I so agree with other people’s comments, sometimes we have to seize a moment when prompted, had you done what many people would have done and said there was no shade you would have missed an opportunity which was sent to you for you to learn some valuable lessons from.

    I love that you read (my kids are avid readers and I feel that it expands their mind and offers them some protection from the bombardment of the less desirable TV media). I love that you offered your seat. I love that you felt comfortable speaking to an old guy (lots of young people don’t). You have already, as you acknowledge, been enriched by the experience and who knows the true impact of this chance encounter on your future life.

    I remember once, a couple of years after my beloved father had died, I was in my late twenties and even now in my mid forties I still struggle with the grief, so you can imagine how it was when it was so raw, I decided to take my lunch break from work in the park behind my offices instead of in the canteen. It was a sunny spring day, quite warm, I bought a sandwich, I couldn’t make up my mind between two fillings so I bought both and for some reason (probably gluttony) a pack of two cakes. I wandered into the park and started to head to a bench, just before I arrived there a pretty much disheveled old man, sat on it, I could tell that if he wasn’t homeless, he was definitely down on his luck. I decided consciously not to sit at that bench and to move on to the next one but as I approached I caught his eye and I smiled and he smiled back and I changed my mind and sat on that bench.

    We made conversation about the weather, I asked if he fancied one of my sandwiches and a cake and he gratefully accepted, he told me he was down on his luck as I’d suspected. His wife had died ten years earlier and he’d been grief depressed ever since, his daughters had stopped visiting as they felt he should have shaken himself out of it and he was depressing them with his depression, he’d had to move out of their home and into a sheltered flat, he’d had to let their dog go, he was lonely and miserable.

    During the conversation he asked where I was from as he recognised that my accent was a northern English and not a London accent where we were, I told him the name of the town I’m from which nobody every recognises and immediately he told me that he had had a friend many years ago from the same place. He then told me about his army days and I enjoyed the stories as it reminded me of my dad telling me the stories of his national service and onward service in the Irish Guards regiment of the British Army. I told him my dad had been in the Irish Guards and this guy told me he had too and eventually it transpired that the friend he had had from my home town all those years ago, back in the 40’s and 50’s was actually my dad! He reeled off names and places I was so familiar with and even a couple of stories I’d heard before. I was overwhelmed with joy really, but also with wonderment, what were the chances of me in London (a big city) happening to choose to share my lunch with a virtual vagrant who just happened to have been on of my dead father’s closest friends some 50 years previously? What if I’d carried on walking that day to the next bench, why did I buy two sandwiches and two cakes, what if I’d had my lunch in the canteen?

    I more than over extended my lunch break that day and arranged to meet him the next day and the next, always taking him lunch, always meeting in the park, eventually he met my daughter who he loved as a grandchild and I adopted him as a grandad for her. I started to go help him at his flat, cleaning and cooking for him and he began to take better care of himself and to come back to life. I almost felt like I had my dad back which was very strange but I felt like I was doing what I would have done for my father had I had the chance or had it been needed. I helped him make contact with his family again and his last years were happy, although unfortunately he passed away too soon a couple of years later.

    Everyone said I helped him, but he helped me more. I think had he not appeared on that bench that day I would have been swallowed by my grief. I needed him and thankfully I responded to the prompts to let him into my life rather than walking on by.

    We meet people for reasons and I’m so glad that you have given yourself this opportunity.

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    • That is an amazing story. Sounds like an old film, You have to think, what are the chances? I’m finding more and more how interconnected the world really is if you take the time to listen.

      There is a scene in the David Fincher film, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” where the director cuts a beautiful sequence of events leading up to a car accident. Noting that if any one single thing happened differently, the accident would have never happened.

      For some reason I tend to gravitate toward older people. Better conversation? Less ego? Many reasons, whatever they are, I’m glad to have connected with you and share our similar stories. This is the reason why I love wordpress. Sharing stories. Thank you for taking the time to read mime and comment back with your memory.

      Erik

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